Damaged
by tinmanna19
Summary: This is a story of if the Joker met a different psychiatrist at Arkham. Would he be able to make her succumb to his darkness or will she cure him of his demons?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Seph's POV

Today is my first day at Arkham. My fiance had pulled some strings to get me a psychiatric job there. I was lucky since I had just finished my internship earlier than my other cohorts, but I felt like I was kind of using him. Don't get me wrong, I love Matthew O'Connell very much. It just feels like I have cheated the system. Although Matt has made it clear that he doesn't want me working there long. He keeps saying how it is a 'stepping stone' for me and a way from me to 'get my foot in the door'. It irritates me since he says all these things and yet he still works there. He of course works as the head doctor in the medical center.

I check myself out in the mirror. I am wearing an emerald green button up shirt, tucked in to a black high waisted pencil skirt and matching black pumps. I wrap my soft wavy dark brown hair up into a neat and professional looking bun. I adorn my black glasses even though I don't need them. I have had them since high school since that is when everyone started focusing on my ample body parts and no one would take me seriously. Surprising what a pair of glasses can do. Matt doesn't even know they are fake. I smile like it is an on going joke for me.

I drive my beat up old car to Arkham. I enter and pass through several security gates. A secretary, I think she said her name is Margaret, takes me to my office. I squeal with excitement when she is gone to see that I have an office all to myself. On my desk is a dozen white roses. I read the card. ' _Good luck on your first day. -Love, Matt'_

He has always been the romantic, I struggle to keep up with him. He has been asking me to move in more and more frequently. I should finally just cave. The wedding is in ten months, it would make planning a lot easier, but a part of me just feels like things are moving too fast. We have only been dating for a little over a year and he proposed on our one year anniversary.

Now is not the time, Seph. Focus on work. I go next door to Dr. Joan Leland's office. I am supposed to shadow her for the first week and then I will be getting patients of my own. I knock on her door and hear a curt "enter".

"Hello, I'm Dr.-" I start but I am instantly cut off.

"I know who you are and you are hardly a doctor. For the record, I was completely against giving you the job but it looks like you sleep with the right people." She says. Oh I do not like this woman one bit. I want to slap her, to claw her eyes out. Geez, calm down Seph.

I don't let it phase me and simply continue. "What is on the agenda today?"

"Well I am busy with two projects this week. I have an intensive with the Joker this week so from eight to noon we will be with him, after lunch I work on my book and for that I will want to be alone. You can just sit in your office and do research or something. I could honestly care less." She says. She motions for me to keep walking and I assume we are going to see the Joker. I am absolutely fascinated by this idea. I see that we are heading to a therapy room and know I am not supposed to have jewelry on in there so I slip my ring into my coat pocket. Joan could have at least given me a heads up, stupid bitch.

"Look, you are new and he is one of our most intense patients. Do us all a favor and keep your mouth shut, we wouldn't want you to mess him up more than he already is. Just sit there and look pretty. Maybe make yourself useful and take notes." This woman is seriously driving me mad. My blood is boiling but I just smile at her as we take our seats across from the Joker.

"Sorry Joker, I have a new doctor shadowing me, so that's why I am running late." I am irritated, nothing I did made her late.

"Oh no. don't be sorry. It seems you have brought me an angel to play with." He says looking at me up and down. So I decide to return the action. He had bright green hair and pale skin and a silver smile. His normal makeup is gone and his lips were an almost grayish blue without the lipstick, his bright blue eyes looking a little more dull without the normal dark eyeliner. He actually looked more intimidating this way, more intense. He had a straitjacket on and it made me frown.

Matt warned me that Arkham had methods that I was against; straitjackets, drugging the patients till they basically swallow their tongues, and ECT. He justified it by saying that they are criminals and no one cares. I wanted to work with children. They never pulled this kind of shit with children. I reminded myself I was just here to get my residency hours in. Plus it could give me experience with adults with childhood trauma, I'm sure there were a few in here.

"Joker, as you know, we are having an intensive this week. Four hours every day with me. It is up to you how we spend it. We can sit in silence, you can crack your stupid jokes, or you can actually make some progress." Her bedside manner really sucked.

"Well Dr. Leland" He said her name slowly. "How many times have I asked you to call me Mr. Joker? You don't respect your patient's wishes very well." He laughed after that. "But she," he pointed to me and looked me in the eyes. "Now she, can call me Mr. J." He winked at me. I just looked at Joan and smiled. I have made more progress with her patient than she has without saying a word. Sure, it is probably due to my looks but fuck it. She needed to be taken down from her high horse.

"Tell me about your childhood?" Oh god, I wanted to gag. This was such a stereotypical question. One that typically didn't work for cases that proved to be more stubborn.

"It was normal." he laughed.

"Can you elaborate?" Dr. Leland was too busy looking at her notepad and never looked at the patient. Me and him had eyes locked.

"Nope." He sang the word.

"Mr. Joker, I don't want to be here anymore than you do. Can you just please answer my questions?" She sighed. She was exhausted with him already? She asked one stupid question. At least she used what he wanted to be called.

"Oh there is no where else I rather be." He says still never taking his eyes from mine. "Why doesn't she talk?" He said finally looking at Joan. I looked at her too, curious as to what she will tell him.

"She is new, I don't want her messing you up more than you already are." She actually told him. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on doc, I hardly think that is possible. Let her have a few questions." He said.

"No, absolutely not!" Oooh someone is an angry doctor. I stared at her in surprise.

"Really doctor? What do you have to fear? That this new and gorgeous doctor is better than you? In more ways than one." Oh no, he was going to get me in trouble. I gave him a pleading look for him to shut the fuck up and he just winked. God damn it.

"Joker you are on thin ice, maybe we need another session of ECT." I looked at her absolutely shocked. She literally just threatened a patient. Mr. J did not look happy at all, in fact he looked lethal. He laughed a bone chilling laugh.

"Maybe you need to check on your husband." Joan went stock still.

"Why would I need to do that?" She asked trying to remain calm but I could hear her voice breaking.

"I know his heart is not doing so well. Want to make sure nothing has spooked it, right?" It is no secret that Joker has connections. I wouldn't doubt him. Joan doesn't either.

"Dr. Sotiropoulos, keep your eyes on this man. I will be right back." She took off in a hurry.

"Well that should buy us some time. Who knew having her phone hidden today was going to be so beneficial?" He laughed.

"Was it a bluff?" I ask. I knew I should be worried for her but I wasn't.

"And if it wasn't? Would that make you upset?" He asked.

"Yes." I say because it is how one should properly feel.

"Don't lie to me…" He focuses on the badge on my coat. "...Seph? What kind of name is that? Is it supposed to be Steph? Like Stephanie? You don't look like a Stephanie."

"It's a nickname. My full name is very Greek. Makes it easier." I tell him matter of factly. It isn't a lie but I omit that I'm embarrassed by my first name or the fact my whole name is a mouthful. "But no, I wouldn't be upset." He looks surprised that I complied so easily.

"I like you, Seph." he tells me. Emphasizing the "ph" sound of my name. Oh joy, another pig liking me based off my looks.

"You don't even know me." I roll my eyes.

"No, but I desperately want to." I was surprised. He was definitely a fascinating man. "How would you feel about running the rest of this so called 'intensive'? I am sure you will ask more fascinating questions than 'What was your childhood like?'" I laugh since he was thinking exactly what I was.

"I like your laugh." he tells me. It was completely sincere, no teasing, no humor, just sincere and it made me blush. "So what do you say? Think you can handle a week being alone with me?"

"Definitely." I tell him with a confidence that surprises him. "But how will that happen?"

"Oh darlin, just leave that up to daddy." He winks at me.


	2. Chapter 2

Joker's POV

It was easy getting good Ole Joan out of the picture for a week. I wanted to get out of the intensive with her because knowing her it would be half an hour of talk with three and a half hours of ECT everyday. I had my men on the outside make sure that her husband was to have an accident today.

The new doc intrigued me. She had a very matter of fact attitude about her but I could tell she had a playful side by the light in her light brown eyes and the way her pale skin would blush. She was definitely Greek with a last name like that, she sounded American and lacked the Mediterranean tan so I assume she has grown up here in the states.

I find myself wondering about her and looking forward to the rest of the week. It is probably the medicines. They found out about my threat and Mr. Leland's incident. They couldn't figure out how I had contact with someone on the outside. The police came and interrogated me but I just laughed, leading to a doctor to come sedate me.

I lose track of hours and sometimes days like this. I start to think that maybe the cancelled the intensive altogether and I won't see Dr. S again..haha Dr. S, S for sexy, stunning, stabbing, slaughter….

My thoughts are interrupted by a few guards coming in. I'm flattered but I feel so sluggish I couldn't even get my dick hard if I tried, much less fight off a guard. I can't even laugh. They put me in the straight jacket and escort me to a therapy room. I fall on the way and they give me a kick in the ribs. My mind is mad as I struggle to get up but I feel the energy sucked out of me and I can't do anything.

Before I'm pushed into the room I see her. She looks glowing but she has a mad face on and talks in an angry whisper to some stocky blonde doctor. I recognize him as Dr. O'Connell. He frequently meets with me to up my sedation. Never has the balls to administer it though.

I'm being forced into the chair and Seph comes in. Her heels click with purpose and her usual pouty lips are pursed in a thin line.

"That will be all gentlemen. You may leave us." they look to argue but if looks could kill, they would be dead thrice over. They mutter "bitch" as they walkout and that makes me angrier than I expected.

Once they leave I just stare at the table lost in the fog. I can hear the clock tick and her calm even breath. I don't know how much time passes but she never says anything. I start to hear her dig through her bag and it causes me to pull out of my trance and look up.

She pulls out two decks of cards. Opens one up and shuffles. I'm mesmerized by how her hands shuffle the cards. She starts dealing them out on the table. She pulls her feet out her heels and tucks them under her getting comfortable and starts playing solitaire.

I watch her play for a while. She's quite the beauty. She gets this cute concentrated look on her face where she bites her lip. I start to feel myself pulling out of the fog. When she figures out a move her eyes light up and my breath hitches unexpectedly. She makes eye contact with me instantly and tilts her head.

Not a lot of people have ever made me nervous but for some reason she does. Maybe it's the drugs slowly fading from my system, maybe because she's new and I haven't decided my plans for her, but she makes me nervous.

"Do you want to play?" Her voice is soft and sweet but has a roughness deep beneath. Like a cold she never fully got over.

"Solitaire is a one player game" I respond simply. Berating myself for not saying something wittier.

"We can play double solitaire. Here." She slides me the deck and walks behind me. It makes me nervous to not have her in my sight so I crane my neck to try and keep my eyes on her. "Please hold still" Her hand lands gently on my neck and I flinch. She quickly moves back with her hands in the air.

"I'm sorry" She apologises quickly. "I'm was just going to undo your straight jacket. I should have asked."

"Oh. Yeah, go ahead." My mind is spinning. It wasn't that I didn't want out, it wasn't by the unsuspected touch, it was the effect it had on me. As soon as her skin touched mine, my mind was clear. In fact I was hyper alert. I could feel where she was without seeing, could smell her perfume as if she just sprayed it, and could feel the heat radiating from her body. It was brief and unexpected clashing with me now feeling myself.

She was careful to not touch my skin again but I was myself again. Not some zombie. So once she had me free, my hand was around her throat and she was up against the wall. I had raised her so she struggled to stand on her tiptoes.

"Well well well, what a pretty little fool you are. So easy to trick and manipulate. What did you think? Poor Joker. He seems sad. Let's give him some freedom and he will spill all his secrets as easily as I spread my legs." I drove my knee between her legs to emphasize my point. My anger spilling in for her seeing me in such a state and her pitying me disgusted me.

Her eyes, which flashed with fear for only a second became angry and then suddenly calm. Infuriating calm. "No. I was sitting here bored and wanted company. Didn't think you wanted to talk so I thought we could play cards. My bad." the last part bit with sarcasm. It made me smile. She was feisty.

I laughed and dropped my grip, walked to the table and started dealing out my cards. She came silently and did the same. It shocked me when I noticed us both having matching smiles.


	3. Chapter 3

SEPH'S POV

He was in his trance for the first hour and we played cards for 2 hours. It got intense and competitive. I didn't hold back and won the most when we tallied it up in the end. He looked mad but also a look of respect in his eyes. Of course he joked that I cheated.

"So I guess you will get in trouble if you come away with nothing from this session." He prompted as if he was testing the waters.

"Not really, I'm just a lowly resident. Not very high expectations of me. Plus Dr. Leland never gets anything from you, so it's pretty par for the course." I shrug. I'm just in this to survive my residency and get out of here. This place gives me the creeps and not so much for the inpatients but the archaic and barbaric practices here. But I keep this to myself. It already caused a fight between me and Matt last night and an angry whispered conversation in the hallway.

It's one thing to know about these practices but to participate is horrific. I got livid when I found out the unethical dosages of tranquilizers he was signing off on. He claimed he signed off on it trusting the psychiatrists would know best especially since they have medical license as well. He promised to more diligent in the future but it didn't feel right. Felt even worse when I saw the Joker today. He just was a shell. I didn't know how to pull him out of it but somehow I did. I was glad to see him more himself.

"You don't want to crack the mystery of what is the Joker?" He said with a dramatic swoosh of his arm but real curiosity gleamed in his eyes.

"I think it would be interested to know. Sure. But nobody has yet before, you are repeatedly unwilling to delve into that according to your case history. I would rather not press it and come out alive unlike many of your previous doctors." I tell him.

He pouts. "Well you're no fun. Plus who says you will come out alive." He adds with a menacing smile.

My eyes meet his and I give him a hard look. "I do."

I can tell my response has him taken aback but the buzzer goes off and the guards come in. They strap him back up and escort him out.

…..

I finish my notes on my research for the day. I have a major research project I have to present at the end of my residency. My focus for it is childhood trauma and so I'm trying to find patients in past archives and current files who have reported childhood abuse and/or neglect. I have a few lined up and hope to get approval for me to work with those and do case studies once Dr. Leland comes back and takes over her Joker case.

I wonder if he had a rough childhood. I'm a firm believer that no one is inherently evil. They maybe more likely to have violent tendencies but I believe something negative would have had to happen to trigger that.

I wonder who the Joker was before he became who he is. I definitely don't believe his momma popped a pale, green haired murderous and psychopathic baby out of her vagina. Was he a cute kid? Did someone hurt him? Did he grow up okay and snap as an adult? Was he a rebellious teenager?

I find myself wanting to know not for professional reasons but personal and that scares me.

Matt comes into my office pulling me from my thoughts. "Hey honey, are you ready?" he's being extra sweet trying to gauge my mood but I'm too tired to argue and just grab his hand on my way out.

We order take out and sit on the couch in my apartment, I'm in yoga pants and a large t shirt that I stole from my older brother, Hector. He lives across the country from me but I still end up stealing his shirts somehow. Matt is rubbing my ankles as my legs lounge across his legs and some cheesy lifetime movie plays on the TV. He must really be sorry to be sucking up this much.

"Honey, you still want to get married, right?" He takes me by surprise. His dark blue eyes look genuinely concerned. I feel guilty. I know I'm not always the most affectionate. I should tell him I love him more, that he means the world to me, I just get caught up in my head to much. I feel guilty and selfish and awful.

I sit up and straddled him "of course I do. I'm so sorry. I know I get distant, it's just I get so preoccupied and focused and really there is no excuse. I'm so sorry." I have one hand on his cheek and the other gently playing with his perfectly combed blond hair.

He turns his face to my palm and kisses it. "It's okay hun. I just feel like we aren't moving forward. Will you please move in with me? It would be easier to spend time together. There is more space at my place. Plus I could fall asleep and wake up to you everyday." He gives me pleading eyes.

I bite my lip. I'm hesitant. It's easy to say yes to marriage months away. It's harder to say yes to moving right now. I look around. My apartment is cheap. Filled with cheaper stuff that barely works. Matt has a wonderful apartment full of nice things. That 6 years older than me pays off being established plus he grew up being a rich kid and I….well I had a different upbringing. I'd miss this place though. It was solely mine. Something I never had before. But it was a logical step forward.

"Okay, let's do it." I tell him. He lights up and picks me up, smiling and kissing me hard. He carries me to the bedroom. I feel happy making him happy, but I can't help falling asleep dreaming, not of the naked man beside me, but of the green haired man laying alone in a cold cell at Arkham.


	4. Chapter 4

Jokers POV

The guards got mouthy with me during morning "activities" so I got mouthy back. He cut me in the arm pretty deep to teach me a lesson. Since it would be a "liability" for me to die in this hell hole, they take me to the med ward and strap me to a bed. I never am here long. The occasional bone reset, the stitches, sometimes an x ray. They are overpaid assholes who work in this area. More gossip than anything. The nurses are hot but they just aren't doing it for me. My thoughts drift off to the brunette I can't get out of my head. A tall blonde nurse named Amy comes in and takes routine vitals, she has a decent rack and nice legs. I think of short little Seph, she dresses much more modest than Amy so I use my imagination to picture her and close my eyes. I hear the two doctors on shift talking. My attention peaks knowing one is the same doctor Seph was talking to in the hallway yesterday. Dr. O'Connell I think is his name.

"So she finally said she would move in with you? About damn time. You gave her a ring, at least make it easier on you where you don't have to go back and forth from her shitty apartment on her shit part of town." I think that is Dr. Anderson. He's an asshole who volunteers for overseeing the ECT. He's a real cocksucker.

"Yeah, and we celebrated by a mind blowing fucking. She seems so innocent and quiet but damn is she good in bed. It was so good she was dreaming about it. Moaning in her sleep and everything. Almost took her again this morning but she was in such a rush." He brags and I start feeling sick to my stomach.

"It must be that Greek in her. I hear they are freaks in bed." Dr. Anderson laughs as I feel ill as it is confirmed. Seph is Dr. O'Connell fiancé. As I dreamed of touching her body last night, he was actually touching hers. It makes me livid.

The doctors notice I'm getting agitated. They are always overly liberal with their sedatives, makes their work easier. They quickly sedate me and I'm asleep.

I wake up in my cell later and become even more mad. It's night. I missed my session with Seph today. I see red and lose control, mad that an asshole like O'Connell has a girl like Seph. Mad she can't see him for what he is. Mad that I'm stuck in this shit hole. Mad I can't touch her. Mad that I can't hurt her. Next thing I know I'm hurting guards and demanding they call Dr. Sotiropoulos. I won't let them near me with sedatives.

It's like I blink and there is more blood on the wall. I don't know if it's mine or a guards. I blink again and there she is. On the other side of the glass. She's beautiful. Her hair is down, thick and wavy. She's in a simple cotton dress that looks almost as soft as her. No glasses. Leggings and a scarf. Must be cold out already. It's the first time I see her without heels. The first time we are both standing near each other. I take in how tiny she is. She's short and little. Breakable. I smile devilishly and manically.

"Well look who finally showed up. You are late for our playdate." I get closer to the glass separating us. Suddenly I throw my fist against it. She doesn't even flinch. She moves to the keypad, punches some numbers, and swipes her ID. The door opens. I don't see any guards nearby. She drops her bag by the door. I think of strangling her with the strap. Or stabbing her with a pen that's probably in there. She's a fool.

She pulls out a small clear and red box and moves to my bed, slides her shoes off and sits cross legged. "Please come sit." She asks in that soft voice. I look at the bag and see it as a potential weapon, she just makes herself comfortable. Seeing how little fear she has makes me want to hurt her more, but also it makes me...feel something I can't place. So I just stand in front of her.

Her warm hand gently lifts my arm by the forearm. She inspects my hand. It's bloody and bruised. It's the first time I notice it. She lowers it and opens the kit. I see scissors. Another weapon. But I just sit next to her. She cleans and bandages me up and I watch her face in its beautiful concentration. Everything about me wants to hurt her. Everything about me wants to be close to her. The red is fading, the voices in my head are quieting. She's making things clearer but I'm still angry.

"So I guess you were to busy fucking Dr. McDreamy in your office to bother with our session." My voice has a bitter tone in it that I don't like. It sounds almost like jealousy.

Her eyes darken in an intense way and I start getting mad expecting her to fight with me. But then I see her blink tears away and against everything in me, I soften.

"I don't like talking about my personal life at work. But apparently he has no qualms about it." Oh so she's mad at him. That makes me oddly happy. "As for you, I didn't miss our session at all." she's not happy with me either. She marches to her bag and pulls out a tablet. She clicks around and then shows me security footage. It's of my cell.

The time shows 20 minutes after our scheduled time, I'm not moving and it looks like I was only thrown partially on the cot. I see her come into the cell, rushing even. She is bending over me and checking my pulse and breathing. She tries to get me to wake up. Then she gives up and starts adjusting me on the cot. Doesn't look like the easiest task either. She puts my head on a pillow and a blanket over me. Feels my skin and takes her sweater off and puts it over me. I'm already choked up and she puts it on a faster forward and it shows she sat on this gross and cold cell floor for not only the 4 hours but past the rest of her shift. She checked my breathing and pulse every 15 minutes, she tried to wake me up. Tried to get me to eat and drink. Then in between she worked on her laptop.

I get overwhelmed by a feeling radiating from deep in me. She's looking up at me with those big Brown eyes and she looks as vulnerable at I feel. The voices tell me I should hurt her, destroy her before she destroys me. Instead I lean forward and when I hear her breath hitches, I'm done in. I kiss her. My non wounded hand going through her hair and resting on the back of her neck. I don't hear the voices at all. I don't feel the toxins through my body. I pull away and give a soft laugh that doesn't sound like me. It sounds...normal. it's startles me and she snaps out of a daze. A daze my kiss put her in and I can't help but feel proud. But next thing I know she is gone, the voices are back and I'm left alone with them.


	5. Chapter 5

Seph's POV

Breathe. Just breathe. I can't understand what happened. He kissed me. I kissed him back. I don't know how I make it back to my apartment. I'm happy Matt isn't here. Thinking of Matt made me feel sick. We had a huge fight. Not even sure we are still together. If I even want to be together. He promised to be more diligent about sedatives. Yet my patient was unconscious the whole day. He could have died. Matt has been privileged his whole life, has never been told no. He doesn't understand his actions can hurt others and I told him all of this. He got pissed. Said I was afraid of commitment and just looking for excuses to not be with him. It went on and on. He stormed out with a bag of his things. Then I got the call saying my patient was having a meltdown and demanding me. Joker. These past few days have filled my head with him. I need space. I have 2 more days. Only 8 more total hours with him. Then I can put some distance, work with other patients, and move on.

My body didn't want to move on. It wanted more of him. His lips, his warm body against mine. Then that soft laugh. It was so sweet with almost a youthful hilt to it. It gave me butterflies. I was playing a dangerous game. I went to bed knowing that I'd dream of the things I wish he could do to me but I could never allow.

…..

I woke up and gave myself a pep talk. I could do this. It helped my brother called on the way to work. He could tell I was distracted but rambled on. It was good hearing from him. He seemed happy but I worried about him though. His borderline personality disorder made it hard for the happiness to be long lasting. He always said it was like he was constantly sabotaging everything good in his life. My heart went out to him and I made promises that I'd visit soon.

My heart was racing harder and harder the closer it got to our session. Finally it was time and I felt like I was having a heart attack. He was already there and he just smiled at me. Not menacing, not theatrically. A real "I'm so happy to see you" smile. It caught me and him both off guard. My stomach filled with butterflies and he shook his head and looked down.

I sat down in my seat not knowing what to do. Even dating typically I was quiet but at least confident. Right now I feel like a teenage girl on her first date. Oh my God, I'm comparing a therapy session to a date. I blush wilting from embarrassment.

He looks up at me with these vulnerable ice blue eyes of his and it's like the green hair, tattoos, and pale skin are gone and I catch my breath. As soon as I blink it's gone. All I can say is "Hi"

He laughs. A genuine and beautiful laugh. It would make any girl swoon. "Well hello." He seems more comfortable with himself and I'm just a wreck. I don't even know what to do. I don't know how to start this session.

"What is Seph short for?" He asks me. It takes me off guard. I don't tell a lot of people. Mostly because they laugh. So I don't know what in my right mind possessed me to tell the Joker of all people.

"Persephone." I whisper. He does chuckle a bit causing me to go red with embarrassment. I should have kept my mouth shut but instead I just say more. "My mother loved old mythology stories. Plus she had a sick sense of humor. Let's name my children after Greek mythology." I roll my eyes but smile. "She hated her name was Marie, wanted something interesting. I paid the price." I chuckle a bit.

"She sounds like my kind of gal. A torture that will last forever. But I find your name beautiful. I always liked the story of Persephone." He looks honest and sincere but I'm skeptical. "You have siblings?" He asks surprised.

"Just one. An older brother. His name is Hector." a part of me thinks I shouldn't tell a psychopath about my brother or my family in general. But moments like this make it hard to remember he's murdered people and hurts people for fun.

"What about you?" I don't even think before I ask but I see his eyes go dark and he's back to the old joker.

"I see what you are trying to do." He stands up and throws his hands on the desk hard. Ignoring his hurt hand. "Is this your game? Reveal shit about yourself, stuff that's probably not even true? Just to coax information out of me?"

He's violent and I know I'm about to get hurt. Not even the grabbing me and slamming me, like the lucky to get out alive kind. I'm not sure what comes over me and I'm convinced I have zero self preservation. My mind says cower and beg but next thing I know my arms wrap around his neck at the same time my lips meet his. He growls against my lips, his body is tense. His hands rest on my rib cage grabbing me tight. I can tell he's warring with himself; hurt me or kiss me?

I pull back for a breath and he's still tense and look at him with apology written in my eyes. His hands slide to my hips and pull me to a passionate kiss. It grows deeper and he picks me up with my legs wrapped around his hips. My back is pushed against a wall but not roughly, more passionately. His hands un tuck my blouse from my dress pants. His hand touching my skin right above my pants line. The contact makes me moan. It's like electricity flowing. I get goose bumps and he deepens the kiss, one hand on my hip sliding to underneath my belly button and then back. The other hand at the base of my neck and collarbone. My hand are on his face, through his hair, on his chest, anywhere I can touch.

It's not enough. I want more. He can sense it and I can feel how much he wants it to. He growls and he pulls away and I'm left from the sudden broken contact, cold and shocked.

"I can't do this. I can't do this." He says. I'm confused. He keeps going. "Yes you can, she means nothing. Nothing." He hits his head. The voices. Like a bucket of cold water poured over me, I realize he's my patient. I took advantage of my sick and vulnerable patient. I feel sick to my stomach. Everyone looks at him as this master villain, a manipulator, a con artist, but I was his doctor. I should have known better.

I'm fighting tears when I look at him, afraid to touch him and make it worse. "I'm so sorry." I say, my voice breaking before I run out of there.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

JOKERS POV

The voices are fighting to come back. I can't do this to her. She is smart, beautiful, has everything going for her. If I ensnare her it will be the end of her career, the end of her happiness, and more than likely, the end of her life. In a matter of days she has awoken something inside of me I thought to be long gone. It's disturb me. The voices encourage me to take her here and now. To turn her into my puppet. To have her in every single way. To possess her.

I want to more than anything but I can't. I'm arguing in my head and find the strength to pull away from her. It's harder to fight and I'm arguing with myself outloud. I hear myself repeating the voices in my head that she means nothing.

"I'm so sorry" Her voice is quiet and her words unexpected and I pull out of a trance. She runs out of the room and the guards run in. I want to call for her but I wouldn't know what to say. I just want to be near again. Next thing I know, I'm tranquilized by the guards.

…..

She isn't coming back. I'm angry and I'm relieved. I feel more jumble and twisted than ever; a dark place of rage and confusion. A few days pass and I have no sessions with any doctor. Just the mundane routine of being in an Asylum. I'm ready to get out of here and hoping Johnny is close to forming an escape. It's been too long. He should have been bailed out of Blackgate by now.

I have nothing to do but to think about her. Her fresh scent is lodged in my memory. She always smells like she's been in the woods all day, which was always a mystery to me since Gotham is a polluted concrete jungle surrounded by murky river water probably packed full of toxic chemicals. Her dark brown hair and how it fell in soft waves when she left it down. I remember how thick and soft it felt through my fingers.

I yell and bang both my fists on the wall. Where is she? Why hasn't she come to see me? I need to know. I call over a guard and start getting on his nerves on purpose, looking for a fight. It's never hard to get on Murphys nerves. He has a quick temper and looks for reasons to hurt me. I end up on the ground knowing I at least have a couple of broken ribs. After a few hours, a medical team comes and escorts me to the med ward.

O'Connell is there just like I hoped. The nurse goes through her routine and walks away, pulling the curtain around my bed since there are a couple of other patients here: Pamela and Jonathan Crane. Plant girl looks like she has a black eye and busted lip, her face is smug though so she must have gotten the upper hand. The guards are often inappropriate with her because of her looks, she puts up a mean fight though. Crane is unconscious which is strange because he is typically a well behaved prisoner.

The nurse is flirting with the doctor and I'm only slightly surprised when the tool flirts back. "So I hear you are a single man again." She purrs. This surprises me and peaks my interest. This is the kind of stuff I wanted to hear.

"Hmph, yeah called the whole thing off. She got so upset and quit her job here. Must have been hard on her. I bet she even moved back home to Seattle."He says in a boasting tone but I smirk. He thinks she was hung up on him but it was me. Then suddenly, it hits me, that I may never see her again. She may have left completely. My smile and amusement gone. I could probably track her down but did I want to?

They go through their routine. I was right, a couple of broken ribs. He does a shitty job patching me up, but I was able to reach in his pocket and snag his phone. I was able to type a text, send, delete, and put the phone back without anyone noticing. Pamela tilted her head curiously at me when I was being escorted back down but didn't say anything.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Seph's POV

It's been over two weeks since I last saw him. Two weeks since I called everything off; with him, with Matt, my job.

Luckily my school helped place my residency at the Children's hospital in the pediatric terminal cancer wing. It had opened up after another doctor dropped out of the program. I can see why. It really takes a toll on you. I'm surrounded by bright happy colors yet everyday I have to help children cope with the idea of death. The children aren't too hard. They are typically too sick and tired and most are ready for the time to come. It's sad but it's the parents that are harder. They have to come to a reality no parent should have to face; their child will die. I tried comforting a mom once who had just lost her child and she looks at me and says "I'm no longer a mother."

I go home heartbroken and tired everyday. Today two children died and three more entered the program. I turn on the TV hoping for a mindless escape when "Breaking News" pops up. A reporter is in front of the asylum and police cars are surrounding the front. A mugshot of the Joker appears in the top right of the screen. His upper lip pulled into a sneer. I immediately sit up as the report announces the Joker along with a couple of other inmates have escaped Arkham. I feel relieved and settle back down. He's out of that wretched place, but I frown. I never saw him before so I'll probably never will see him again. It's something I wanted but now I'm not sure. Plus now he wouldn't be a patient...my mind wanders to dangerous ideas and fantasies. No. He's still a sick individual. It would be wrong. He should be getting help.

I put my head in my hands and resolve to just take a shower and go to bed. These are problems for tomorrow. As Hector would always say, future Seph's problems.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Joker's POV

It felt good to be home. It's an old mansion that looks abandoned. One of Gotham's old blue blood families that died out. It sits about an hour away from the main city. It's hidden off a quiet highway, down a dirt road and surrounded by a forest. I've put a lot of work in keeping this place secret and into the house in general. The outside still needs work but the inside has been restored. Only my most trusted men come here so it's typically a quiet place.

The first thing I do is shower. It feels good to have the smell of that place off me. I try not to think of Seph but when I realize I can't avoid it, I take advantage of it. Fantasizing what it would be like to be with her, touching her, being inside her. I quickly find my release but I'm not fully satisfied. I groan with frustration and get out of the shower. Once I'm dressed, I crash on to the bed. My mind is racing about what I should do, should I look for her? What if I find her? What would I even do? Ride into the sunset, happily ever after? All of me wants her. Most of me just wants her as a possession but deep down I feel I want her for more. Maybe companionship...maybe more. Even if I did have her she would be the target of my enemies. The thought of her being hurt makes me very uncomfortable and the idea of her death leaves a sick feeling in my stomach.

With that, I decide to leave her alone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Seph's POV

Two months pass and Arkham starts feeling like a dream. The Joker has been out terrorizing the city but I only see his face on the news. Well, there and in my head. I find myself looking around for him when I'm at the bank, a sick part of me hoping he would come in to rob the place. I have dreams, or nightmares, I'm not too sure, of me joining him in his life of crime. Matching tattoos adjourn me and in a badass skimpy outfit. I wake up sick at the thought of being a criminal but wishing to be with him.

Sometimes I wonder if everything was real between us or I just romanticized it. It wasn't even a full week of seeing him. When i started working there, I was warned he had a crazy effect on people. I never imagined it would be this. Although, I feel like it is only me that has had this particular reaction.

Work provides a distraction but I feel like I need more. Luckily my brother is coming to visit me. He's worried because I haven't been calling as much and with me calling off the wedding with Matt. I always get nervous having him over. I love him but he's not always the most stable. I remember my first year of med school he came for the weekend and when I went to visit him in his hotel, he was nearly dead with slashed wrists in the bathtub. That wasn't the first time either. I worry about him and when he's on my half of the country and feel responsible for him. I think that's why I moved so far away for med school. I didn't want the responsibility on me. He's my older brother, shouldn't he be the one taking care of me?

I'm supposed to pick him up from the airport so I hop in my Prius and drive there. It's raining and dark although it's only 4:30PM. As I cruise, I try to find a radio station, I'm going through an intersection when I hear sirens that cause me to glance to my right and then all the air leaves my body as another car collides into me. My head smacks on the glass of my window and I hear glass breaking around me. Instantly, every bone of my body hurts and I hear silence. Then I see nothing and feel nothing.

"Miss? Miss? I have a pulse. She's bleeding and badly injured. Not responsive. Not sure how to get her out. Suspect in custody. Over." I can hear a whooshing in my ears. Like my blood pumping. Some guy is talking. I hear radio static. I moan feeling pain again. In my side is the most prominent. I try to readjust for comfort and end up screaming in agony. "Miss, stay still. Your injuries are severe. I don't know the extent of them. We are waiting for an ambulance."

I look over and see a police officer talking to me. His face looks worried. He's young with kind hazel eyes and dark hair. It looks like he has anxiously been running his fingers through it. The pain is fading and I realize I'm going into shock. I laugh. "What's the matter officer? Scared of a little blood?" I raise my hand up in example since blood is on it. I think blood is coming from my side.

"No but you need to be seen by a doctor. After we figure out how to even get you out of there." He looks around the car trying to find the magical solution.

I just laughed again, mostly the irony. "I am a doctor. The wrong kind though. My ex. He was the right kind. He could fix me up."

He looks at me like I'm crazy and realizes I'm in shock and starting to daze. "hey, hey, stay with me." his hand reaches in and touches my shoulder. It's warm but I start shivering. I grab his hand clinging to its warmth. "It's okay, its okay. It's just the shock. What's your name?" His voice is so kind and the last logical part of me knows I need to tell him all he needs to know before I pass out or worse.

"My name is Seph. Persephone Sotiropoulos. I have a brother named Hector. I was coming to pick him up at the airport. I'm 26 years old. Birthdate October 13th. Blood type is O positive. No allergies." I rush to tell him as my vision starts fading. The last I see is his panic stricken face.

…...

There is a flurry of movement around me. Lots of talking and I hear sirens. I'm in even more pain and people keep moving and prodding me. I feel a warm hand on mine and I turn to find it owner. It's the police officer. I feel less panicked. "They are giving you something for the pain, just hang in there. We lost you there for a second." I only then realize I was moaning and crying. There is a mask on my face and my torso feels bare causing me to shiver. He holds my hand tighter. He sees the fear plainly written on my face.

"It's ok, you aren't alone. I'll stay with you. I have someone trying to contact your brother. My name is Dick." He tries to comfort me but something happens causing more of a flurry and his hand leaves mine. I quickly drift into the nothing again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Jokers POV

Two months. Every day I think of her. It takes more self control than possible to not hunt her down. I'm mad. She knows I've escaped but she hasn't come to find me. Maybe it all meant nothing to her. I try to logically reason with myself but clearly that never works.

When it gets too much I find a desperate woman at one of my clubs and let her preoccupy my night for a couple hours. A couple hours picturing it's Seph I'm with. Part of me is convinced she's a witch who had cast this spell on me. I hate her for it. Makes me want to hurt her.

I'm sitting in the office of one of my clubs and Johnny is going through our earnings when the TV shows a familiar face. I freeze as my heart feels like it jumped into my throat. Police chase. Car crash. One of penguin's men in custody. Victim in critical care. Psychiatrist. Persephone Sotiropoulos. Persephone. Seph. Not many things have shaken me before, but I feel my hands trembling as I process everything I'm seeing. Johnny calls my name and I hold my gun up pointed at him.

"Woah. I was just gonna say she was one of the doctors at Arkham. Considered trying to reach out and bribe her to aid in your escape but she quit. Also she seemed too nice. Clean record when I checked but was tossed around the foster care system as a kid. Real winner of a dad apparently." Johnny casually explains adding sarcasm to the last part. He's used to me holding a gun to him. He never knew of how close my association was to her. I didn't want anyone to know.

"Yeah she was my doctor for a bit. Hot but too nice." I tried to write it off. Johnny never questions me anyway. I'm trying to figure out a way to get more information on how she is doing.

"She is definitely attractive. Saw she was engaged to another doctor there." He adds. I feel jealousy flare up, but I simmer it down. I'm overwhelmed with an urgency to see her. She could be dying. My stomach gets sick at the idea of a world without her. I'm trying to form a plan to get into the hospital. Ideally I'd find a way to get her here but I don't know the state she is in.

"Johnny, call Ava. I'm gonna need a disguise." Johnny looks at me with curiosity in his eyes but doesn't question me, pulling out his phone and calling the cosmetologist. "Also I need you to dig up everything you can possibly find out about Persephone Sotiropoulos."

….

Three hours later and my stress is through the roof. I want to run and be at the hospital. I can't even pace, I have to sit still while Ava makes me look "Normal". She does a good job and is fast considering how much she has to do. I'm layered in makeup to cover that white skin and tattoos. I try to keep it to a minimum with a black long sleeved shirt, a dark gray hoodie, and dark blue jeans to cover most of me so she only has to do my hands, neck, and head. I look in the mirror as she is putting on the final touches on. It's not how I looked before the accident but I do look normal. My hair has been temporarily dyed black, easiest to cover the green. It used to be a dull brown. I have eyebrows to match glued on that feels strange but makes me look more like others. My lips are a normal light pink color and my skin is peachy. I had olive toned skin once upon a time with lips darker but more of a tan hue.

I can't help but wonder if Seph would find this attractive. I wonder if she would have found my old self attractive. I was scrawny, meek, and average so I doubt it. I'm shocked at my thoughts. Why would I care? Part of me says it's the same reason why I'm going through all this trouble just to see her. After paying Ava generously, Johnny and I get into the black Mercedes SUV. Not completely inconspicuous but it's night and he will drop me off a block away.

The hospital has that terrible florescent light to it that hurts my eyes after being outside in the dark. It's quiet though and I take the elevator to the ICU floor while unconsciously bouncing with anxiety. I press a button and the doors open. I walk with purpose so no one asks or suspects I haven't been here. Johnny was able to find out that her room is 2122 so I go straight there.

No one is in her room. A thought that makes me relieved but also sad. I won't have to explain my presence or give the false back story I prepared but she is alone. She looks awful. Cuts and bruises all over her, tubes and wires attached to various parts of her, and gauze wrapped around her torso and head. She is paler than usual and missing the rosiness her cheeks typically have. I'm afraid to touch her, hell to even breathe on her. I don't think I've ever seen something so fragile.

I sit in the chair that's by her bed. It hits me how much I have missed her. I wish I could see her smile or hear her laugh. An uncomfortable feeling rises in my chest thinking that it may never happen. She may die. I'm a man that is very familiar with the concept of death. I've caused it many times. Me and death walk hand in hand. But the idea that Persephone could die is just not something I could comprehend. The world is a dark place that needs her light.

After a while a nurse comes in. She looks surprised to see me and my heart speeds up for a second thinking she may somehow recognize me "Oh hello, are you her brother?" I calm down.

"No, I'm her boyfriend Jason." I explain ready to give more fake information I have prepared but that was good enough for her.

"Oh okay. The officer that had been sitting with her today said she had a brother that was supposed to be coming in town. I think he was waiting to leave till he could get here." She explained.

"There was an officer with her? Is she in trouble?" My mind is racing, did she do something? Is she being framed? Does she need protection?

"Not that I know of. From my understanding he was first on the scene because of the police chase and he's stuck with her since." at her words I feel a pang of jealousy and sadness. I should have been there for her. I think to when I was unconscious in my cell and she was there for me. Why did I let so much time pass without seeing her? If she was with me this wouldn't have happened.

"Let me know if you need anything." the nurse barely interrupts my thoughts as she do I mean by "with me" though? As in a relationship? No, I don't do relationships. So she would have never been with me. But maybe if we had the occasional tumble in the sheets….this may not have happened.

I gently find her hand and hold it while rubbing circles on it with my thumb. After a while. I turn the TV on for mindless background noise but I can't look away from her face. I sit there remembering when it lit up full of life. Imagining her shy blush I could cause. I kiss her hand a few times surprising even myself with my gentle demeanor. I wish I could blame it on the hair dye chemicals killing my brain cells but I haven't been myself since I have met this woman.

Time passes without me noticing and the doctors come in for their morning rounds. It's still dark out but I know the sun will be rising soon and I should go before it gets too crowded. The doctors ask my relationship to the patient before filling me in on her case. I don't even hesitate to say I'm her boyfriend. They tell me she had severe internal bleeding, her lung was punctured, she has a few broken ribs, her leg broken, but the main concern was her head and her heart. They explained that she had some serious head trauma but they were able to reduce the swelling. They just don't know the extent of damage till she wakes up. They asked if she had any previous heart issues and I reported not that I knew of. They said her heart gave out 3 times when they were operating. They couldn't find any previous medical records so attributed it to being weak from the accident. Overall, prognosis looked good if she woke up in the next couple days. Terrible if she didn't.

When they left, I ran to the adjoining bathroom and threw up. I didn't like feeling this way. I can't remember ever feeling so….humane. I was angry at myself for caring, angry this happened to her, just angry. That is, I'm leaving her and forgetting her. I told myself that until I walked out and saw her; eyes open wide, blinking at me, confused and scared. I rushed to her side. All thoughts of leaving gone out the window.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay." I touched her cheek softly but she flinched. Not out of pain but fear. Something she has never done, even when we first met.

"Who are you?" She asked timidly. I forgot I was disguised.

"It's me dollface, Mr. J" I say in a dramatic whisper. Keeping my voice low so no one can hear. She still looks confused and my heart drops. Did I imagine everything between us? She forgot me that easily. I start to feel the voices creep up angrily, wanting her to pay for the hell I have gone through since knowing her and she gets away with nothing even knowing me.

"Mr. J? I'm sorry I can't remember...what am I doing here? What's wrong with me?" I want to yell at her but then she starts crying and panicking. Her moodswing surprises me so much that I wonder if I yelled without realizing it, the voices taking over without me realizing it, which wouldn't have been the first time.

"You wer-" I start to explain but her monitor starts beeping a warning and her heart rate is up to 180. Nurses rush in as she is hyperventilating and I back up helpless.

"Miss it's okay. It's okay. You were in an accident and are at the hospital. We need you to calm down." one nurse talks to her while one is starts administering a medication to her IV I assume is to help her calm down.

"Is he in jail? What did he do to me? Is my brother alive? Is he okay?" She still panics despite it and I'm confused on what she is talking about. I thought it was a car crash.

"Miss you were in a car crash. You are at Gotham General Hospital. What is the last thing you remember?" one nurse asks and I notice one whisper to another to go get the doctor. Something isn't right.

"Gotham? How did I end up across the country? My dad attacked me and my brother. Where is my brother?" she's crying more and worried. I'm worried about her. Something isn't right. The doctor comes in finally.

"Hey there, I'm Dr. Rusik. You had some major injuries and we had to perform surgery. I'm going to ask you a couple questions,ok?" He remains calm. Persephone glances at me and I give her my best reassuring look. She nods at the doctor.

"What's your full name?"

"Persephone Marie Sotiropoulos"

"Where were you born?"

"Santorini, Greece but I've lived in Seattle, Washington my whole life."

"What is your birthday?"

"October 13th, 1992."

"What's today's date?"

"August 2nd, 2011."

My heart stops as the room goes quiet. That was over 7 years ago. The doctor recovers quickly and continues.

"Can you tell me what you think happened?" He asks.

"My father had a gun. My brother was recently home from the psych ward. I haven't been home much even though it's summer break. I've been working and staying with a friend. But I knew it wasn't going to be easy for my brother to transition back. My father isn't a very nice guy. We were in and out of the system as kids but forced to move back with him when we aged out of the system. I luckily have a full ride scholarship so I hardly have to be there. My brother isn't so lucky and he has borderline personality disorder. He's in and out of the psych ward a lot. Suicide attempts. I'm sorry, can I have some water?" Her voice is dry and hoarse.

She's always so private. Maybe it's the drugs they gave her revealing it or she was a different person 7 years ago. I know I don't like the direction this is going and I feel anger rise up, anger at her dad. Johnny had mention her father wasn't so great but I didn't understand the extent of it. It made me want to rip Johnny a new asshole for not elaborating.

The nurse come back with water quickly and she takes sips at first and then starts drinking more till they insist she slow down. She shoots them an uncharacteristic menacing look that takes me by surprise and forces me to contain a chuckle.

"Anyways, I get home and my brother is bloody and unconscious on the floor. Last thing I remember is having some words with my father as he had a gun in his hand threatening me. I assume he did this to me. Now where is my brother? And who is this guy?" She points to me with her thumb. She is pretty sassy this way.

Clearly she doesn't remember anything about us and instead of being sad, I decide to start anew. This could work to our advantage the voices say. I have to hide a smile. My backstory can become real. I can get her to fall for me, become loyal to me, and manipulator her to my heart's desire. The cards have fell perfectly into my lap.

"I'm your boyfriend." I say as I move closer.

"HA HA- Ow!" She starts to laugh but flinches in pain. "I don't have a boyfriend. Never have." She eyeballs me up and down.

The doctor decides to take over. "Ms. Sotiropoulos-"

"It's Dr. Sotiropoulos." I cut in. Persephone's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"Dr. Sotiropoulos" He corrects himself. "You have had some severe injuries from a car accident. I believe you are suffering from memory loss." He goes into detail about the accident. There was a police chase and the suspect was speeding and ran a red light totaling her car. They caught him and brought her to the hospital. He goes over all her injuries and the surgeries performed. Finally, he tells her it's 2018 and she's 26 years old, not 2 months from being 19. That she lives in Gotham now. They have called her brother but haven't heard back. Finally he looks at me, "Do you have anything to add?"

"We have only been dating for about a month. We are still getting to know each other." I only have to half feign shock.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions. We will get a social worker in here and see what we can help you with from assistance to Psych-" He adds.

"No." Her eyes are cold as she cuts him off and she's looking past everyone, straight out the window. Almost a mix between pouting and fighting back tears.

"Well we will be here if you-" He starts to say.

"When can I go home?" she's looking at him.

"um well you have a bit of recovery, we have to set up the right support at your home, and we will have to kind of wait and see on how you progress." He says.

"Look, I know I'm some doctor now but I can tell you right now, I know I can't afford this shit. What's the minimum I have to be here in reality doc? I will sign an AMA. I don't want to have to deal with bullshit nurses and quack shrinks" The irony that she called shrinks quacks is not lost on me and I want to point it out but she gets this hard look in her eyes. I'm all for getting her out of here. The doctor can tell she means business but his mellow calm attitude is gone. Now he seems petulant.

"Two days to get IV antibiotics and monitor post op complications." He says begrudgingly.

"Fine. Two days it is." She states and they walk out. She looks at me. "Sorry I just really hate hospitals." which kind of amuses me because technically Arkham is a hospital, more a jail but still categorized as a hospital. She even worked at the children's hospital currently.

"It's okay. We will get you out of here. I can take care of you at home." The gears in my head already turning, plotting, scheming.

"I assume you know where I live? What do you do for a living? Won't you have to work?" She looks uncomfortable with me so I go to comfort her by holding her hand. I know it's a risk but I have to make it seem as if this was usual. She has looked unsure of me this whole time, at least until our hands finally meet. As soon as I touch her, she visibly relaxes. Her shoulders drop and it's like the anxiety leaves her body. She lightly moans with relief and closes her eyes.

I'm shocked. She's always had an unsettling effect on me but I have never seen her so affected by me. Yeah she's blushed and moaned before but I always attributed that to attraction...not whatever this is.

"Yeah I know your place but it might be easier to stay at my place. I am in finance and work from home so it will be easy to care for you and work at the same time at my place. Plus you love staying over at my place." I wink at her. It causes a full on blush from her and she looks away.

"Okay, your place it is. But can you get my things from my place? Shit. I don't even know if I have keys. Is it a house or apartment? I don't even know what my clothes look like!" I see tears welling up in her eyes.

"Look sweetie, I will get everything you need. If you decide you need something else, I'll get it. If you don't like what I get, I'll take you shopping when you're healed, ok? This is stuff you don't have to worry about right now. You need to focus on getting better so we can break you out of here, ok?" My thumb wipes away the tears on her cheeks.

"Okay. Thank you." She yawns.

"I'll stay with you till you fall asleep but then I'm going to go take care of everything and get my place set up for you. I have a guest bedroom for you so I'll put away your stuff there." I take it by her blush earlier she would be more comfortable with that.

"Thank you, I'm so embarrassed. I don't even know your name and yet you are doing all of this for me. Especially since we have only been dating a month. We hardly knew each other and now I don't know you at all but I also don't know myself at all. So thank you for helping me." She rambles and looks at me with big vulnerable brown eyes stirring something deep in me.

"Of course. Anything for my girl. My name is Jason Napier by the way." I smile her.

"Hmm...Jason...I like that name." She says with her eyes closed and in no time she is taken slow even breaths and fast asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Seph's POV

Two days in this hospital was more than enough for me. I was finally being discharged today but they were taking nice and long about it. Even they couldn't argue a reason to keep me though. I was healing beautifully. The doctors seemed to be weirded out by how fast my recovery was going and wanted to run more tests but I denied it. They contributed my memory regression due to the trauma, physically and emotionally. It naturally regressed to what they assume was my last traumatic memory. They tried to find records from hospitals in Seattle that may have seen me after the accident but apparently there was no records for me at all there.

They said the memory loss was most likely temporary but couldn't be sure how long it could last; I could wake up tomorrow and remember everything or only bits and pieces could come back over several years. It put me in a state of not knowing what to do. Do I try to pick up my old life or do I start over?

Jason had made sure to stay at night with me. I slept for most of it and the doctors said that my body will need the extra rest from the trauma so it was natural I was so sleepy. They said I could expect to sleep majority of my days for the next week or two minimum. I wish I wasn't so sleepy so that I could talk to Jason more. I want to know more about him and also myself. He was attractive and funny, it hurt my ribs to laugh but he kept me in good spirits.

I keep calling my brother's phone and nothing. It has me very worried but I don't know any other information than the phone number listed. Jason says he's going to dig for more and try to help me. It's strange to know I have a boyfriend. I never did before...well at least I don't remember having one. Apparently I was engaged before, I graduated early from med school, and I was in the process of my residency. I feel like I had a lot going for me. Which makes me sad because I won't be able to go back to that life unless my memory comes back soon. It's looking like I'll have to start over.

Jason bought me a cellphone since mine was destroyed in the crash. It's crazy how far technology has came in 7 years, although I never had anything fancy like this. I remember still having a flip phone, although a lot of my fellow students had a less fancy version of this iPhone. It's intimidating because I'm starting to believe that Jason is pretty wealthy and I'm...not so much.

Once my discharge is processed I'm left waiting for my ride. Jason said he'd be here by 5:00 PM and it's already 5:45 PM. I try calling him but there is no answer. My mind is racing and panicking. He realized how much work it would be taken care of a broken girl and bailed. I'm distraught over the idea of being so dependent on a man I don't even know and who hardly knows me. This was literally my only option and now I have nothing. My chest hurts and I start crying. My face in my hands as I sit in the wheelchair waiting alone in my room.

"I'm so sorry. So so so sorry. Traffic was a mess, I left my phone at the house because I was in a hurry to get here. Are you hurt? Are you okay?" He rushed into the room. Eyes wide when he saw my emotional state. His hands checking by shifting my clothes, ones he brought me, to check my bandages.

I can't reign in my emotions long enough to tell him I'm ok. He finishes inspection and determines it is emotionally driven. "Well I can honestly say I'm not used to you being this emotional" He says with a laugh.

"I'm not used to being this emotional!" I raise my voice through the tears and he struggles to hold back laughter making me through my wadded up tissues at him. He erupts in laughter. "This better not be the new me." I pout.

"Let's get you home, love." He wheels me out to the car. Yup, he's definitely rich. I don't know much about cars but I know the Mercedes SUVS aren't cheap. "Okay I'm going to try and do this with hurting you as little as possible but I can't guarantee so brace yourself. He scoops me up and gently places me in the passenger seat without hurting anything. He pulls a blanket out from the back seat and hands it to me. "Here, I thought you might be cold." He says quickly before going to pack up my few things from the hospital and the wheelchair.

I was warned the drive to his home is pretty long and I doze off within minutes. I don't wake up until we get there. "its okay Johnny, i got her." I hear Jason say. Warm arms are holding me and my head is against his chest. I can even hear his heartbeat and feel his strong muscles under his shirt. He smells like expensive cologne and I involuntarily snuggle into him more. I'm mortified at first but realize we technically are dating, so this isn't new, he should be used to me cuddling with him I guess.

I'm too tired to open my eyes and look around my surroundings as we go in and honestly I'm too comfortable. Eventually he lays me on a soft surface I assume is my bed but I pout losing his body heat. It causes him to laugh. I love his laugh. It sounds so genuine and happy.

"You have to get some rest sweetie." I feel a blanket go around me and I'm back asleep.

…

" _I'm gonna find you, you little bitch." I'm 9 and hiding from my dad. I kicked him in the balls for hurting Hector. Then Hector and I took off running in different directions to hide. He's 2 years older than me and typically gets the brunt of the beatings but I hate seeing him get hurt._

" _Come out, come out wherever you are." the bed skirt lifts and he grabs me by the ankles, dragging me out by me feet. I fight and grab on to what I can trying to stay under the bed. He gets me out and his belt starts wailing on me._

 _Slap. Slap. Slap._

 _I cover my head with my arms and curl up just like my brother taught me, protecting the vital and fragile body parts. I hear police sirens and the beating stops. My father fleas and Hector rushes in to check on me. "It's okay Sephie. It's okay. The police are here."_

 _Suddenly I'm in the woods, my age now. A grown up Hector is standing in front of me. He looks older than what I last remember so this must be him now. "Hey Seph." He smiles sadly at me. "Sorry I couldn't protect you again."_

" _It's okay, it my fault for being so far across the country!" I try to joke. I don't like the sadness in his eyes._

" _I'm your big brother, I should always protect you. I do a real shit job of it. Look at us. We are so fucked up. I've always been a nutcase but damn. Your brain is like fucking scrambled eggs right now and you have been in love with a psychopath." His hand gestures up in down at me._

" _What do you mean?" I asked confused. In love? Psychopath? Is he talking about Jason? My ex fiance?_

" _That's exactly what I mean! But I don't have much time. I'm sorry, Persephone." He looks down and I know it's serious. He never calls me Persephone._

" _Hector….what's wrong?" I say, scared to know._

" _I...I just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't know all of this would happen to you. I'm so sorry. I thought you were in a good place, you didn't need me anymore." he's crying. No. No. No._

" _No, I'll always need you Hector. Please. Please don't…" I start crying as well, knowing in my gut I'm too late._

" _You'll be okay. You always healed the fastest." He winks at me right before he fades away._

I'm pulled from my dream. My pillow soaked with tears. I have to find my brother. I pull the covers back and hobble to the door, my cast making loud bang with each step. Taking a guess on which way to go, I keep moving. I hear footsteps urgently running up stairs.

"What are you doing?!" Jason is furious. But I don't care, I'm on a mission.

"My brother. I have to find him. I have to find him now." the panic mixed with broken ribs is causing it to hurt to breathe but I keep moving.

"How did you...did you hear my phone conversation?" He asks in an accusing tone.

"What the fuck? No! Jason, I have to find my brother." I don't give a shit about whatever phone conversation. I have to get to Hector before he does something stupid. He grabs my shoulders and takes in my current state; my panicked face, my red puffy tear stained face, and the urgency in my body language.

"I think you know." He says sadly.

I look at him. I do know. He's gone. Dead. Suicide. I was too late. He'd been trying since we were teenagers and now, he did it. I'm furious. I scream one big loud scream and then cry. Big sobbing cries that I know my ribs will pay the price for later, but at least the physical pain doesn't register now. Jason tries to touch me but I push away. I don't want to be comforted. I want to feel the pain. I don't to be spared the pain. My brother is gone. I collapse on the floor and Jason sits next to me careful not to touch me.

"That bastard. He left me alone. He promised. He promised after mom died, I'd never be alone." I ramble. "Now, I need him more than ever and he isn't here. He left me. He really fucking left me this time." I'm not talking to anyone in particular and I'm hysterical. "He always said I healed fast, how am I ever supposed to heal from this." My dream pops into my head. "Jason, I was supposed to save him. I always save him."

After awhile I start to get up. Jason tries to help but I push him away. I fall trying to get up and he growls, picks me up anyway. At first I start slapping his chest and demanding he put me down. He just takes me to the room and sits on the edge of the bed still holding me.

"You. Are. Not. Alone." He emphasizes every word. "You have me. You are not alone. I won't hurt you and I won't leave you, I promise you that and I'm not one for making promises sweetie."

I sob and instead of fighting him, I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on to him. I cry into the crook of his neck and he readjusts me so my head is on his chest. He strokes my hair.

After awhile I start to feel numb and we lay out on the bed next to each other. "Do you want to know the details?" He asks.

I think about it for a minute and it's silent as we face each other with our hands held in between us. "Yes." I finally answer and squeeze his hand harder bracing for the impact.

"I have been trying to reach anyone in your family for weeks. Even called police and hospitals. Finally I guess a cousin of yours called me early this morning. Anthony? He said they had been trying to reach you and I explained what happened to you. He said your brother had been planning a trip here, the police report from your accident said you told the officer you were on your way to pick him up. So that part checked out. I guess he had an episode before he left and went into a depression. Anthony said your father called his father saying his son was dead. They found him in the apartment. He shot himself in the head." He waits a minute while I digest this information. Then adds "I called around. Coroner's and police. No foul play was suspected. I had to check because of your father's history." Then he suddenly looks like he is trying with every fiber of his being to reign in his anger. "I asked about a funeral. Your father had him cremated and held a mall service, not willing to wait for you."

I know I should be mad but part of me wants to laugh. Fucking classic Dad. I knew my brother wouldn't have wanted a big deal and part of me knows he wouldn't want me to be there. He always felt guilty for exposing me to his madness. I know he would have done it here in Gotham if he wanted me there, if he wanted a big funeral, because I would have done that. No, as crazy as Hector could be, he did things with purpose. He chose Seattle for a reason. Part of me even feels like Hector said his goodbye i think as I reflect back on my dream.

Jason surprised me though. He had all the anger for the both of us that it caused me to look up at him. Really taking him in for the first time I can remember. He has these ice blue eyes that are almost gray, black hair that is mostly combed back but a piece is falling in his eyes now. His skin is unnaturally unblemished. He's handsome. I know he's tall from standing next to him in the hallway earlier. I know he's got muscles from when he held me, I could feel them even through his clothes plus he picks me up with such ease. Then to top it off he knows me well enough to know I would want answers, that I would suspect my father as well. He cares enough to get that information. Which he probably paid a decent price to get information from police and coroner documents. He feels empathy for me, anger for me.

This clearly wasn't the psychopath Hector mentioned in the dream. This man, this man was…

My lips crash into his. He pulls back in shock at first and then kisses me with double my passion. His hands are on my face. His tongue licks my lip wanting entrance and I grant it. My hands run through his hair. His hands travel down my body being gentle of my ribs and he grabs my ass, pulling my body closer so we are chest to chest. His hands slide slightly under my shirt touching my bare skin and I'm hit with a quick and sudden image of pale white skin and a flash of green.

I pull back suddenly. Confused why it felt so familiar.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Jokers POV

She jerks back suddenly and it's like a bucket of cold water has been dumped on me. She's confused and grieving. I know she kissed me but I should have stopped it. I need to be more careful anyways. This makeup could come off, its strong stuff but it not permanent. I start to untangle myself from her.

She pulls out of her daze. She looks confused but holds me tighter. "I'm sorry, I just had Deja Vu or something. It felt familiar but all I could see was white and green." She goes to kiss me once more and I pull back.

She's starting to remember. At least a bit and that unsettles me. Part of me is beyond happy she remembers me, but part of me is sad that I will be losing this with her. I feel uncomfortable when I think about how she might handle me tricking her.

"I can't. You are mourning. It isn't right." I tell her.

"It's not like we haven't done it before." Oh how entirely wrong she is. I really set myself up for that when I teased her and alluded to previous relations…

"Still, you aren't even healed. You are physically broken even." She pouts. Really pouts and I can't help but see how adorable it is. There is no way we can though, as soon as I take my shirt off she'd see I was a fraud.

Her pout becomes more sad and tears well in her eyes. "I just want to feel good. You make me feel good, just being close to you and I can't imagine how good I'd feel being...even closer to you" She blushes just alluding to sex.

"Persephone, were you a virgin from what you remember?" I ask curious to know. By her blush, she confirmed it. Then her eyes go big as saucers suddenly.

"I...I...let you call me Persephone?" She stammers.

"Well yeah, it's your name." I know she prefers Seph but Persephone is so fitting for her. You know how you meet people and think hey he looks like a George or her an Amber? Well, she just looked like a Persephone. Elegant, beautiful, innocent.

"I didn't know. I never let anyone call me that. Not even my brother." She gets quiet and I feel she's not telling me something.

There is a knock on the door. "What is it?" I ask annoyed.

"Boss, we got a problem." Johnny says from the other side of the door. I roll my eyes.

"I'll be there in a bit." I reply not so kindly and start to get up. I don't want to leave. I wanna stay in bed with her all day even if it meant we couldn't have sex. I just want to be near her. She silences the voices.

"I gotta take care of some work. Mine and my...helper...Johnny's number is in your phone. Text or call us. I'll be downstairs busy in my office unless I have to head out but I'll text and let you know if I do." She nods and the sad, almost scared look on her face almost forces me to stay.

"Anyways, you are supposed to rest so if you get hungry, let us know. One of us will bring food up. There is a tablet with games and such in the night stand. Crutches are propped up next to it and here is the remote for the TV. Please let us know if you need help or anything. I'll help you shower later tonight...you are starting to smell" I smile as I add the last part and she throws a pillow at me while laughing. I feel much better leaving with her smiling and laughing, having erased that sad look off her face.

Her laughter rings in my head as I head downstairs. Johnny meets me at the bottom of the steps. "Hey boss, I didn't want to interrupt but we have an issue." we head to the office together.

"What is going on?"

"Quite a bit unfortunately. Business or the girl first?" He asks. I want to know about her first but I play it off.

"Business." I say curtly and hope that it's quick.

"Penguin had some of his men rob a big shipment of our weapons. So now the new recruits aren't armed and we are out a good chunk of change." My blood boils. Of course penguin. He always sends others to do the dirty work. This gives me a reason to tear him apart though without drawing suspicion to the real reason why. He was the cause of nearly killing Persephone.

"I want updates on his locations and when it changes. We will watch and plan an attack based off that but plan for the iceberg lounge. That's the old bird's typical spot. Now what's this about the girl?" I ask. Finally not able to wait any longer.

"Officer Grayson from the GCPD was the officer on the scene when her accident occurred. He's been asking a lot of questions. Wondering where specifically she is at. Why she mentioned several things about her, such as brother, age, blood type, etc but not a boyfriend." Johnny pauses for my response.

"Hmm, that could be an issue. As for now we will lay low. Grayson isn't one that can be bought off and he won't forget." I ponder how to handle that when Johnny interrupts my thoughts.

"Boss, there is another thing. Her medical records from Seattle are gone. Not even an childhood vaccination record to be found. So I did some digging." I'm intrigued and he pulls out a couple manila folders.

"I think her lack of records means someone has them. Someone powerful. Especially when I saw this from the most recent hospital visit." He opened both folders. "I had to threaten a couple people but these are the only copies and their loved ones will die if this information gets out."

I pulled out matching x-rays of her legs from each folder and held it up to the light to see better. The first one is a nasty break, the bones coming away from each other and splintered. The second one, barely a hairline fracture. "These were taken only two days apart?" I say with surprise.

"Yeah, I thought that was interesting. Then there are these." He pulls out more images. Her incision sites, her rib fractures, her brain imaging. All were doing weeks of healing in only a couple days. "For someone who has an abusive father, I wonder if she has any scars if she heals like this."

I try and remember but I have never seen any scars on her but abuse doesn't always leave a scar. Still, it's strange."It is definitely strange. I am going to help her shower later and I will see then." Johnny looks surprised for a second but quickly controls his features. Johnny has always been good staying in control so I know I have rattled him a bit, hell I have been rattling myself lately.

"Her brother died recently but I would be curious to know if he has the same….affliction." Johnny is carefully wording himself.

"Go ahead and get his autopsy record and see what you can get on his medical records including his psychiatric ones." I instruct him. I'm curious as well.


	13. Update

Hello my lovely readers! I apologize for the lack of update. I'm having to type on my phone for the time being so I haven't been able to edit anything on the computer and post. Also I've been SUPER busy moving. Our computer is packed up and I'm having to move everything in my Prius. So I apologize for taking forever but hopefully the wait will be worth it :)

Thank you for your patience and support. You lovelies are fantastic!


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